Exclusive: A Yellow Cardigan, An Empty Photo Album, and No Dad - One Man's Search for His Father
April 18, 2019 | Other
Kane McGarvey is on the hunt for the father he never got to know. The day Kane McGarvey came into this world was the closest he ever came to meeting his father.
That was when the man he has never known visited the New Plymouth hospital and left him a yellow knitted cardigan and an empty photo album.
And then he disappeared.
Now McGarvey is a dad himself, and it's the 27-year-old's relationship with his three-month-old son Elijah that has triggered the search for that missing part of his life.
"Life's been different for me...Everyone else had a mother and a father, and a wee family dynamic and I've just never had that," he said from his Hamilton home.
"I want to know where I come from. I don't want to leave a blank slate for my son."
McGarvey knows very little about the man who dropped the items to Taranaki Base Hospital on August 24, 1991.
And he doesn't know how to go about finding him. But earlier this week he posted on his Facebook page a plea for information about his father, starting his story with "So here goes nothing".
Kane McGarvey began his search for his father with the words "so here goes nothing".
"I've been looking for a little while...It would be interesting to meet the guy," he said.
"He could be deceased but even some information on him would be cool.
"In a situation like this you don't just have a kid and take them presents and not tell anybody."
As the story goes, McGarvey's mum met "Wayne" - he claims she cannot remember the man's name - at Waitara Town and Country Club one night towards the very end of 1990.
McGarvey said she told him "Wayne" was fair-skinned, had a receding hairline and was around 30 years old.
The two spent the night together and nine months later "Wayne" was told he had fathered a son.
When he arrived at the hospital, McGarvey's mum told him to stay out of her life.
"Wayne" was never heard from again. And McGarvey's mum has never offered up any further information.
McGarvey said he has never seen his father, who only visited him on the day he was born and gifted him a yellow cardigan.
Life has not been easy for McGarvey. He said his mother handed him over to state care when he was a year old.
He claims to have lived in 76 different foster homes across Taranaki. He lived with his mother for six months when he was 11, before returning to foster care.
When he was 16 years old, he moved out on his own and relocated to Hamilton.
McGarvey is matter-of-fact when he speaks of his childhood.
He struggled through school, resented living in state care, and longed to be a part of a family.
But life is different for him now. He's let all of that go.
He has his son Elijah to focus on, and wants to provide him with a stable life.
"There's no point in being angry anymore.
"I just want to know my bloodline, my ancestry and whether I have any other siblings."
McGarvey says he is prepared for the fact his father may be dead.
McGarvey still has the photo album and the yellow cardigan.
He now remains hopeful somebody can connect him with man who gave it to him.
Private investigator Mike Gillam of The Investigators New Zealand, believed McGarvey's best bet was to focus on the club where his parents met.
There could be members from that era who could offer information, said Gillam, who is ex police.
"When you are talking about a name and a place they met and a description it really does come down to getting enough word of mouth around the place," he said.
"But that is at the very, very difficult end of the spectrum."
Gillam said most private investigators can work with just a full name, but the more information the better.
On the day of his birth the man believed to be McGarvey's father dropped off this photo album at New Plymouth base hospital.
Generally we start with a name and a rough age. From there we look at trying to locate the individual and more often family members that are related that may know their whereabouts. Some cases are relatively simple however many are a real test of investigative ability and resourcefulness.
Aside from internet and Facebook searches, NZ Births Deaths and Marriages are a great source of information as are the various regional library resources of electoral rolls and other databases accessible by the public.
Those face to face enquiries are very memorable when the result is a reunion of lost family members.
Resources for finding your birth parent:
- Your adoption or Department of Child, Youth and Family Services records
- Births, Deaths and Marriages
- Adoptive parent(s) and other family members
- Hospitals
- Other organisations involved in adoption (Barnados, Salvation Army and other church groups)
- Libraries
- Museums
- Archives New Zealand
- Schools
- Cemeteries
- Clubs and associations (see the CITY database)
It’s also worth looking at some of the Genealogical websites available online. FamilySearch is one of the world's largest free genealogy organisation dedicated to helping you find your ancestors, discover your family history, and connect the past with the present.
Online searches are all well and good but sometimes it takes old fashioned footwork and knocking on doors to reach the person we are after. The Investigators are highly skilled in locating persons and can help you find your birth parent, or another family member.
Click here to email us, or call 0800 747 633.
- Article originally on stuff.co.nz.
